Maintaining Friendships
MEMBER GUIDE
We’ve all done it – met someone amazing during a night out, made plans to hang out again, but then life happens and the friendship never moves beyond viewing each other’s Instagram stories.
Adult life can be hectic, but taking a few moments to intentionally follow up with new connections can lead to lifelong friendships worth investing in!
Below are some great tips from our members to help you turn acquaintances into friends.
Some interesting facts about friendship…
Shared experiences strengthen bonds.
Research suggests that shared experiences, especially new and challenging ones, can accelerate friendships.
Get some of your new connections together for a game night, pottery class, volunteering, or another activity that gets you thinking outside the box – together!
The Proximity Effect
In social psychology, the proximity effect is the idea that we are more likely to form friendships with those who live close by due to frequent, casual interactions (think: your college dorm).
Use the Slack group to find gals who live in or near your neighborhood! You could create a reality where you walk just a few blocks to your bestie’s apartment for dinner after work.
Time investment matters!
A study by Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas found that it takes about 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, 90 hours to become "real" friends, and over 200 hours to form a close friendship.
Incorporate your new friends into activities you’d already be doing, such as your morning walk, co-working at a coffee shop, thrift shopping, etc. to make social time a part of your routine.
We asked a few members how they initiate and maintain friendships through the Club.
“After I have chatted with a woman or a group at an event for a bit, I will usually ask "Hey can I get your instagram, number, etc?" Usually instagram is easier for me because I can put a face to the name easier. It also allows me to keep up with what the girlies are up to and I can respond to their stories so we can kind of keep in touch! Then, I try to send them a message at some point to hang out again! Sometimes I'll throw an IG group message together if we were talking in a group, or just message 1:1. It is important to remember we are all busy and life can be crazy so it is easy to not prioritize things, but just because someone hasn't asked to hang out again does not mean they don't want to! So don't be afraid to be the one who initiates asking!” – Haley A.
“I got really really lucky to meet the girls that I have met. One friend in particular who I met on the boat invited me to dinner afterward. We went and she mentioned another friend who she met via the sfwsc and invited me to an event they were having that next week. I went and since then these girls have been my best friends and we are constantly together. I think the most beneficial thing when maintaining friendships outside of official events is to just be yourself and keep doing fun things together. Over the past few months our relationship grew from strangers to best friends.” – Mandy F.
“I always make sure to get their number or ig before leaving the event and then invite them to do something soon! I also love hosting parties and making plans to do fun things and I always try to invite new friends I make!” – Brittany A.
“When there’s someone I really click with, I make sure to get their contact info and follow up with a coffee date or drink somewhere in the city! Starting and maintaining friendships happens when you follow through and reach out.” – Olivia B.